Put on the Shoes: How to Take the First Step When You're Feeling Stuck

Ever had one of those days where just getting started feels impossible? I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. Maybe you’ve had mornings like that too—where getting started feels harder, heavier, or just plain impossible. Fred, my furever companion and spirited sidekick, looks up at me, tail wagging, ready for our walk—but somedays I find myself hesitating. If you know Fred, you know he loves (and needs) his walks to burn off some energy. But sometimes, it's cold, or raining, or it just feels like too much. I sigh inside, thinking how nice it would be to just curl up on the couch with a coffee and skip the walk today. Or I find myself standing in the kitchen, staring into the fridge—not because I’m hungry, but because I’m avoiding something that feels hard to start. Maybe for you, it’s something else—a project you’ve been avoiding, a difficult phone call, or a change you know you need to make but can’t quite take the first step.

There was a time when I thought I had to feel motivated before doing anything—like motivation would magically show up and carry me into action. But that never really worked for me. What I’ve come to realize is that motivation usually shows up after we’ve already started. It’s the doing that brings the energy. Sometimes, all it takes is putting on the shoes—not because you’re ready, but because it opens the door to what might come next.

Why Small Steps Matter

Action creates motivation—not the other way around.

We tend to believe that motivation is what pushes us into action, but it’s actually the other way around. Action creates motivation. Taking just one small step—whether it’s putting on your shoes, opening your laptop, or making that first phone call—creates momentum.

When I learned about behavioural activation, it made so much sense. Originally developed by psychologist Peter Lewinsohn and later expanded by Christopher Martell and colleagues, this approach was designed to help people with depression take small, meaningful actions. This is where behavioural activation can really help. If you're looking for motivational tips for anxiety and depression, behavioural activation is a simple daily mental health strategy that really works. The idea is simple but powerful: small actions shift our mindset, making overwhelming tasks feel more doable. And let’s be real—when we break things down into tiny steps, we take away some of the pressure that keeps us stuck. Sometimes it’s not laziness; it’s emotional overload, fear, anxiety, or even perfectionism holding us back.

The Science of Small Wins

Your brain thrives on progress—even the tiniest kind.

Your brain loves progress. Even the smallest actions trigger dopamine, the chemical linked to motivation and pleasure—something your brain craves when you're trying to get motivated when you're overwhelmed. That means when you take the tiniest step—just putting on your shoes—your brain registers it as progress, making it easier to keep going. This is part of what’s called the progress principle, a concept introduced by researchers Teresa Amabile and Steven Kramer. Their research found that even small wins can significantly boost motivation, especially when the effort feels meaningful. When we break things down into manageable steps, we’re more likely to follow through.

For example, when I’m overwhelmed, I start by putting on the shoes—sometimes literally, sometimes figuratively. I’ll grab the leash for a short walk with my dog or jot down just one thing in my planner. That small action gives me a sense of direction and helps me ease into whatever comes next.

Getting Unstuck: A Mental Health Perspective

Every path is built one stone at a time—even the wobbly ones.

Sometimes, when I think about taking small steps, I picture path stones—those stepping stones that form a trail. One small path stone at a time. One small step at a time. Some are smooth and familiar. Others are jagged or wobbly. Some steps are so small and quiet, they barely feel like movement at all. But each one matters. Even the rough ones. Even the ones that make us pause or stumble a little. Because, before you know it, you look up and realize—you’ve travelled the path. Not all at once, but step by step, one path stone at a time.

Feeling stuck or unmotivated isn’t just a personal flaw—it’s something many of us experience, especially when our mental health is stretched. In counselling, we often talk about how small, consistent steps can support mood, especially for those struggling with anxiety, grief, burnout, or depression. It’s not about doing everything. It’s about doing something—one manageable action at a time. That’s how we take small steps toward change, especially during burnout or emotional overload.

How This Works in Real Life

Simple, consistent actions can shift your whole day.

So how can we use this in everyday life? For me, sometimes it's as simple as saying out loud, "Fred, let's go," and watching him perk up with excitement. That little act of showing up for him helps me show up for myself, too. And it almost always starts with putting on the shoes—his cue that we’re really going. It turns out Fred’s trained me just as much as I’ve trained him. Here’s what I do when I feel stuck:

Put on the Shoes (Literally or Figuratively) – If I don’t feel like walking or working out, I tell myself, “Just put on your shoes.” No pressure beyond that. If I need to write, I open a blank document. The goal is just to start.
Set a 5-Minute Timer – I tell myself I’ll do something for just five minutes. Most of the time, once I start, I keep going longer than 5 minutes.
Attach It to Something I Already Do (Habit Stacking) – This idea is known as habit stacking—pairing a new action with something you're already doing. I find it easier to follow through when I link a new action to something I already do. For example, “After I make my morning coffee, I’ll put on my sneakers.” The existing habit acts as a trigger for the new one. At this point, Fred has learned the routine too—coffee means we’re walking soon. It’s a bit like Pavlov’s bell. The smell of coffee has become his signal that a walk—one of his absolute favourite things—is about to happen. And really, how do I say no to that kind of excitement?
Lower the Bar – Instead of telling myself I need to clean the whole house, I say, “I’ll pick up three things.” Starting small keeps me from feeling overwhelmed.
Celebrate the Start – Even if I don’t finish the entire task, I give myself credit for starting. That builds motivation over time—a practical mental health tip you can return to again and again.

Put on the Shoes—And See What Happens

Just start. That’s all it takes.

It's one of the simplest ways to build momentum when you feel stuck.

You don’t have to feel ready. I know I don’t most of the time. But when I take that first step—when I put on the shoes—it gets easier. And often, that one small action leads to another, and another, until I realize I’ve done far more than I expected.

So, if you’re feeling stuck, try it. Put on the shoes, take the first step, and see where it leads.

Looking for More Support?

Struggling with motivation and need guidance? Book a counselling session with me.
Curious about how small steps help with emotional regulation? Read my post on Paul Gilbert’s Regulation System.